TEXT FROM THE 2010 USAID AGENCY AUTHORIZATION BILL THAT DUNCAN HUNTER jr CO-SPONSORED
With comments in Blue & All Caps by Joe Ryan, Candidate for Congress in 2010, California's 52nd District
1. HOW MUCH DO YOU THINK IT WILL COST TO KEEP STATISTICS ON 60% OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION?
(Sec. 333) Requires the Department's Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights and Labor to designate a Bureau-based officer or officers to track violence, criminalization, and restrictions on fundamental freedoms in foreign countries based on sexual orientation or gender identity.
2. THE PEOPLE WORKING IN THE MISSIONS AND CONSULATES IN THE MIDDLE EAST JUST CAN’T WAIT TO GET STARTED ON THIS TASK
Directs the Secretary through U.S. Diplomatic and consular missions to encourage foreign governments to reform or repeal laws criminalizing homosexuality or consensual homosexual conduct.
3. THIS WIDENS THE SECTION 333 INQUIRY TO INCLUDE DISCRIMINATION AGAINS WOMEN AND GAYS. SENSIBLE GAY PEOPLE AND SENSIBLE WOMEN KNOW WE CAN’T AFFORD THIS
Amends the Foreign Assistance Act to include in the Department's annual country reports on human rights practices information on violence or discrimination affecting the fundamental freedoms of an individual based on sexual orientation and gender identity.
4. NOTHING AGAINST WOMEN, BUT AGAIN, CAN WE AFFORD THIS
(Sec. 334) Establishes the Office of Global Women's Issues in the Department.
5. THIS IS A SUBSIDY FOR THOSE BENEFITTING FROM GLOBALISM, & LIKE ALL GOVERNMENT ‘OFFICES’ IT WILL GROW LIKE A MOLD AND COST MORE EVERY YEAR
(Sec. 403) Authorizes the Secretary to establish within the Bureau of International Organization Affairs an Office on Multilateral Negotiations.
6. FORCES US TO COME UP WITH A PLAN TO SUBSIDIZE THE UN AND PAY FOR IT’S OPERATIONS
(Sec. 404) Directs the President to transmit to the appropriate congressional committees a plan relating to resumption by the United States of the payment of its full contributions to certain international organizations at the beginning of each calendar year.
7. THEY SAY WE ‘OWE’ THEM BECAUSE SOME CROOK AGREED WE WOULD PAY A DISPORTIONATE SHARE OF UN OPERATING COSTS AND WE WON’T GO ALONG WITH THE SCAM ANYMORE (UNTIL NOW)
(Sec. 405) Authorizes appropriations, in addition to amounts otherwise available for the payment of assessed contributions to international organizations, to pay all U.S. arrearages to the United Nations recognized by the United States.
8. I DON’T KNOW WHAT THIS FILM IS ABOUT, BUT WE DON’T NEED THE STATE RECOMMENDING BOOKS AND FILMS, & SUBSIDIZING THEIR DEBUT IN THE US UNDER GOVERNMENT DIRECTIVE
(Sec. 505) Requires the IBB to make the film "A Fateful Harvest" available for public viewing in the United States.
9. THIS IS SO THEY CAN SELL OUR TECHNOLOGY AFTER WE DEVELOP IT
(Sec. 822) Amends the Arms Control Act to increase the dollar thresholds for certain military export-related congressional notification and review requirements.
9A. AND THE OTHER SHOW DROPS
(Sec. 826) Authorizes the President to remove satellites and related components from the United States Munitions List, except for any satellite or related component that may be transferred to, or launched into outer space by, the PRC.
10. HEY GOVERNMENT: HOW ABOUT SENDING ME A CRATE IN PINE VALLEY? I’LL PUT THE STUFF ON EBAY AND SEND YOU A CHECK
(Sec. 847) Authorizes the President, for FY2010-FY2011, to provide for the crating, packing, and transportation of certain excess defense articles to Albania, Afghanistan, Bulgaria, Croatia, Estonia, Macedonia, Georgia, India, Iraq, Israel, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Latvia, Lithuania, Moldova, Mongolia, Pakistan, Romania, Slovakia, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Ukraine.
11. NOW THAT ISRAEL IS MAKING AND SELLING DRONES TO TURKEY, BASED UPON TECHNOLOGY THE US DEVELOPED AND PAID FOR, WE MIGHT AS WELL GIVE THEM THE REST OF THE STORE
(Sec. 848) Authorizes appropriations for co-development of joint ballistic missile and medium and short-range projectile defense projects with Israel, including the Arrow, David's Sling, and Iron Dome systems. Directs the Secretary to submit a annual report to the appropriate congressional committees.
12. ONLY A 20YEAR SENTENCE & A 3 MILLION DOLLAR FINE? WHY DON’T WE JUST GIVE THEM LIFE AND SELL THEIR CHILDREN TO SLAVE TRADERS FROM ARUBA IF THEY GET CAUGHT WITH A PELLET GUN?
(Sec. 912) Amends the Arms Export Control Act to subject a person who willfully exports to a Western Hemisphere country any small arm or light weapon without a license to a fine of up to $3 million and imprisonment for up to 20 years, or both. (Sec. 913) Amends the State Department Basic Authorities Act of 1956 to include in the Department's reward program the arrest or conviction of any individual for illegally exporting or attempting to export small arms or light weapons to Mexico.
13. HOW’S THAT ‘LET EM IN AS TOURIST’ SCAM GOING? LET’S ORDER UP A REPORT FOR ACORN
(Sec. 1017) Directs the Secretary to report to Congress regarding the effects of the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI) on the flow of people, goods, and services across the international borders of the United States, Canada, Mexico, Bermuda, and the Caribbean region.
14. LETS MAKE SURE WE TURN THE NIGERIAN GOVERNEMENT/ECONOMY INTO ONE BIG SOCIALISM-EXPERIMENT TOO
Title XI: Miscellaneous Provisions - Subtitle A: General Provisions - (Sec. 1101) Expresses the sense of Congress that the President should establish a U.S.-Nigeria bilateral commission to support multifaceted cooperation.
(Sec. 1102) Authorizes the Southern Africa Enterprise Development Fund to solicit private venture capital which may be used separately or together with U.S. Government funds for investment purposes.
15. HOW ABOUT A SAFE WATER PROGRAM FOR THE SAN DIEGO RIVER SO DOG BEACH ISN’T A SWELL OF BACTERIA, GET THE PHARMACEUTICAL DRUGS OUT OF OUR WATER, ETC. ARE PACIFIC ISLAND PEOPLE INCAPABLE OF KEEPING THEIR WATER SAFE WITHOUT THE US? ARE THEY GOING TO DROP LEAFLETS ON THE ISLAND, TELLING THE PEOPLE TO EAT LESS TWINKIES?
(Sec. 1103) Authorizes FY2010-FY2011 appropriations to establish a diabetes prevention and treatment program for Pacific Island countries and for safe water and sanitation.
16. ATTENTION POTENTIAL EMIGRANTS: IF YOU JUST TAKE OFF AND LEAVE HOME, WE’LL GET YOU IN SOMEWHERE (PREFERABLY WHERE YOU’LL BE A PARIAH DUE TO YOUR MURDEROUS BELIEFS)
(Sec. 1104) States that it shall be U.S. Policy that the President and the Permanent Representative of the United States to the United Nations work with the international community to support the work of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) to prevent and resolve problems related to de jure and de facto statelessness, and to promote the rights of the de jure or de facto stateless. Authorizes FY2010-FY2011 appropriations.Authorizes FY2010-FY2011 appropriations for the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) to aid countries with significant de jure or de facto stateless populations to bring about the full registration of all children born to de jure or de facto stateless parents.Authorizes appropriations for U.S. activities to prevent and reduce de jure or de facto statelessness. Prohibits, with a national security waiver, the Secretary from providing assistance to countries that do not cooperate with the United States on weather matters.
17. LOOKS LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE A DERIVATIVES MARKET OUT OF ‘INVESTMENT CLIMATES CHANGE’. THEN THEY CAN BRIBE PEOPLE IN THE MILITARY TO TELL US WHO THEY PLAN ON ‘BOMBING INTO THE STONE-AGE’; AND THEN GOLDMAN SACHS TRADERS CAN ‘SHORT’ THAT COUNTRY, AND MAKE A LOT OF DOUGH
Directs the Secretary to establish a business and investment climate warning system.
18. IF A COUPLE OF 17-YEAR OLDS GET MARRIED, THEY’LL BOTH BE WANTED FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, BY INTERPOL AND THE US MILITARY
(Sec. 1111) Directs the President: (1) through the Secretary, to establish a multi-year strategy to prevent child marriage in developing countries and promote the empowerment of girls at risk of child marriage in developing countries; and (2) submit a related report to Congress. Requires the country reports on human rights practices to include for each country in which child marriage is prevalent a description of the status of the practice of child marriage in such country.
19. DO YOU SUPPOSE THEY COULD ADD A SPECIAL SECTION IN NEXT YEARS BILL, SO THE PRESIDENT WOULD HAVE TO HELP ME GET MY STOLEN AIR JORDAN’S BACK?
(Sec. 1112) Urges: (1) the President to make all efforts necessary to retrieve the seven watercolor portraits Dina Babbitt painted while interned at the Auschwitz death camp and return them to her
20. THE CRAZY MONITORING SET-UP IN SECTION 333 AND IN OTHER SECTIONS IS GOING TO GLOBAL. MOVE ALONG; NOTHING TO SEE; NO WORLD GOVERNMENT BEING FORMED HERE.
(Sec. 1114) Amends the Foreign Assistance Act of 1961 to state that the Secretary should implement a system to monitor and evaluate the effectiveness of U.S. foreign assistance which should include a method of coordinating the monitoring and evaluation activities of the Department and USAID with the monitoring and evaluation activities of other federal departments and agencies carrying out foreign assistance programs, and when possible, with other international bilateral and multilateral agencies and entities.
20a. THE ‘MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS’ CLAUSE
Requires such federal departments and agencies to develop an annual evaluation plan.
21. PART (4) MAY BE REFERRED TO AS ‘THE MONSANTO CLAUSE’. NOTHING LIKE SLIPPING A LITTLE GLOBAL WARMING LAW INTO A FOOD-AID PROGRAM!
(Sec. 1115) Directs the President to require the Secretary to implement a comprehensive strategy to address global hunger and food security with respect to international programs and policies for: (1) emergency response and management; (2) social protection and disaster risk reduction; (3) nutrition; (4) market-based agriculture, agricultural education and research, and rural development; (5) government-to-government technical assistance programs; (6) natural resource management and responses to climate change's impact on agriculture and food production; and (7) provision of adequate resources for programs to carry out the U.S. commitment to alleviate global hunger and promote food security.
22. THE ‘MAKE THE WORLD SAFE FOR FEMINISM’ ACT OF 2010. WE’LL NEED AN EXPENSIVE REPORT TOO.
(Sec. 1117) States that the Inspectors General of the Department, DOD, and USAID, and the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction should address in their auditing and assessment protocols for Afghanistan the impact of U.S. development assistance on the social, economic, and political empowerment of Afghan women.
Requires a related report to Congress.
THIS IS THE BIG ONE
23. RED ALERT! THERE IT IS! GET IT! ITS’ THE GLOBAL WARMING BILL DISGUISED AS THE USAID ACT! KILL IT! KILL IT! RED ALERT!
(Sec. 1118) Authorizes the Secretary to establish the Global Clean Energy Exchange Program to promote the development and deployment of clean and efficient energy technologies in order to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions, address energy poverty in developing countries, and extend the reach of related U.S. capacities to such countries.
24. DON’T MESS WITH CAP-N-TRADE OR OUR GREEN ECONOMY, CONTROL SCAM!
(Sec. 1120A) States it shall be U.S. Policy that, with respect to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change, the President, the Secretary, and the Permanent Representative of the United States to the United Nations should prevent any weakening of international legal protections of intellectual property rights related to energy or environmental technology.
25. DID I MISS SOMETHING? I THOUGHT WWII ENDED, LIKE 65 YEARS AGO OR SO.
(Sec. 1123) Expresses the sense of Congress that countries in Central and Eastern Europe must: (1) return looted and confiscated properties to their rightful owners or, where restitution is not possible, pay equitable compensation; and (2) enact legislation to facilitate private, communal, and religious property restitution.
26. NOTHING LIKE LIFTING WORDS FORM OUR CONSTITUTION & MIXING THEM UP WITH A LITTLE TALMUDIC-SUPREMACY THEORY. SINCE ISRAEL IS SURE AMERICA IS FULL OF TERRORIST (LIKE RETURNING WAR VETERANS), I GUESS WE JUST GAVE ISRAEL THE ‘INALIENABLE RIGHT’ TO ATTACK THE USA (AGAIN, AS THE LIBERTY CREW WOULD SAY)
(Sec. 1129) Expresses the sense of Congress that Israel has the inalienable right to defend itself in the face of an imminent nuclear or military threat from Iran, terrorist organizations, and the countries that harbor them.
27. DO AS WE PLEASE, PAY YOUR DEBTS, AND WE PROMISE TO NOT CRASH YOUR CURRENCY. THERE’A LESSON FOR AMERICA TO BE LEARNED HERE.
(Sec. 103) States that to the extent that Pakistan continues to evolve toward civilian control of the government and to implement economic reform programs the President should mobilize multilateral financial and economic and currency stabilization assistance for Pakistan.
28. SHOULDN’T THE PAKISTAN GOVERNMENT BEING DOING THIS?
(Sec. 104) Establishes in the Treasury the Pakistan Democracy and Prosperity Fund.
29. EVERYONE IN SOUTH CAROLINA THANKS YOU FOR SUBSIDIZING THE PAKISTANI SLAVE LABOR THAT WILL PUT THE REST OF OUR TEXTILE MANUFACTURERES OUT OF BUSINESS
(Sec. 410) States that such
duty-free treatment shall remain in effect through September 30, 2024.